3:20 had come and gone.
Maybe it came when I was just out with the dog. He'd wanted go as soon as I got here.
And the sun came so that was auspicious, as they say. As they say in the Buddhist temples.
I got up just before 11 this morning, going to bed whether I wanted to or not, at 5:50 am, about.
Desperately did not want to get into an apt-bound rut. Walked around, made 1 coffee. Fed the cat.
Started doing some looking up on the Internet. For starting businesses online from home.
On the fairly smooth drive up here, I stopped in at the Milton Indigo and was all set to buy a hot new book called "Crush It. by some new wunderkind, but what might have been a catalyst for me. They didn't have it or I could find it. I had already tucked 3 books under my arm - two by an unknown-to-me French novelist and one on the state of digital cultare BS by a guy I'd seen on TVO and the like. I'd put a little pot of water on to boil when I went out and now made a coffee. I think I may have another before I head out - back down south.
9:32 2ndcup Brant St.
There was a couple of different routes I could have taken to get here and it was no sure thing that I was going to end up here anyway. The snow that was predicted is now started. The roads were beginning to get dicey.I took the safe route, Campbellville Rd and Guelph line.
There's only 1 couple in here beside me tonight. And they have Lou Reed playing, At first, I thought it was Willie Nelson.
Look at the enthusiasm on these kid's faces. They seem happy. They have this thing they imagine called a future.
Now they playing the Cure - Boys Don't Cry. These kids were born before any of this music was recorded.
I was somehow up even in apt this morning looking up all that stuff about online biz. What is my heart really in it?
That girl is really skinny. She is cute and has the knack of little things to wear. The black coat/jacket and orange scarf.
Jeans and black shoes. Shoelettes.
Others are coming in now.
Young Burlington couples.
It's hard to get pumped about starting an online business when the wise men tell you it's all for not. What do they recommend? Keep living, make a living?
Transmitting to an ether with no receivers.
Publish directly to the abyss, the void.
Vacuumland.
Keep living to make a living.
The people around me tell me one thing.
It's like they don't question it for one minute.
The body tells me another thing.
The mind just whips everything around in its blender.
Waiting has always been my method. It even gave me time to observe. I just wouldn't take anything seriously. And yet it weighed on me and everyone thought I was pretty serious.
(The Cure is getting tedious.)
And what I imagined everyone thought was pretty important. Like bringing home girlfriends to the parents, I would bring home my ideas to what I thought my friends would think.
All my ideas would have to change.
Waiting.
